The Heart of a Broken Man Part 3

It was not my imagination had my guardian angels protected me. Why was I worthy to be saved?  

Why me? From that day I regularly attend the church and they have supported me and provided valuable council. 

From many sitting positions around the bay I sit and look at the cliff and wonder. 

I am now divorced from my wife after my suspicions were confirmed. I was made redundant and changed my career at the age of 50 years. 

Sadly life threw a few more curve balls in my direction in which I have had to accept and adapt to. Firstly I detached my bicep in which after an operation the recovery was very lengthy.  Secondly the trauma of the divorce took its toll and I suffered a massive heart attack due to stress and hypertension.  Why me? 

Why not I don’t consider myself special but here I am a survivor.   

Through the events of my life I had to find a way of calming my mind and writing and drawing became an aid to assisting me in capturing my feelings. 

It is hard to come to terms with being in love with a person to find out that she has betrayed you without any real justification. Nineteen years cannot be forgotten and when children are involved it is even harder. To divorce the woman I loved was the most painful emotional experience that broke my heart.  

Where there is an action there is a reaction and in the end I could not bear to be in her presence or even be able to communicate with her.  

Some of my writings capture my feelings from my experience of the tinnitus and my emotions through the divorce and the process of healing.  

I have learned through my experiences that the body and mind can be broken but the soul and spirit of a man can survive and learn to start again from a new beginning. Two of the most powerful words that mean a lot to me are Faith and Hope.  

I do believe in paths and crossroads and in my writings I occasional mention them. The writings are a true reflection of where I was at certain emotional periods suffering the highs and the lows with depression and anxiety dealing with how a man’s life can change due to the action of another human being.  

Please enjoy my writings with an open mind and if they help you then this record of my story has been beneficial.